Tuesday, March 31, 2009 @ 10:04 PM
See the picture of Edward Cullen? Heres a joke with it. 'How do you slow down a vampire?'
Stick a fan in his face. :D And theres also the three hottest stars, Gabriel, Jonathan & Lester. :D
Last but not least, my drawings of the most amusing laughing methods. ROFL & LMAO. :B
And, I WANT A RING. Boo. :/ Kay, done crapping. Oh one last joke.
How do you identify a ahbeng in class? He's the one that erases off his notes when the teacher erases the board.
SHHHHHUSSSSHHH; BK's blog. (:
@ 9:08 PM
Dreams become reality. Ha, something im hearing on televesion.Well, today is a averagely perfect day. (: After speaking with Alex yesterday,After speaking with Donal today, despite their lousy advice and same comments.I have let loose a little bit, not thinking so much, being less depressed of course. (:I stayed back in school with Sara, Sherlyn, Joyce, Sharmeel, Binhui, Jieyun & Emyi.It was a good laugh, i must say. (: And we ordered Macdonald's in school again. :DWell, we found out that Sherlyn has alot of bad habits. :/ And we made ChungAn drink 'strawberry milk'.It was actually a mixture of Milo, Chicken Pasta, Bandung, Macaroni and Soya Bean. :/ Haha! That was coolio.So anyway, todays definately a better day. Hopefully, tomorrow will too. I also had a good time chilling,While MrKau studied, at Coffee Bean. :B I played this game called Mahjong Titans, not bad not bad. :DI also made a sign for my mum's shop! Im so proud of myself! :D Also, i havent used singlish in awhile. Yay me!Well, Qiyin's gone for OBS, so thats one person to live without, ouch. :/ And ____ will only be back in days. I hope things will turn around. Sigh. Im in a dilemma. I hear the whoosing of the whirlwind around me.I need to learn to be less dependant and reliant on people. Dawn needs to learn to not bug people and make people spend every day of their lives with her. Dawn needs change. Personality, character. Everything.There she goes,
There she goes again.Y
I WANT TO GO OBS! Shit Guangyang. PFFT.
Sunday, March 29, 2009 @ 9:50 PM
Just when the tears are rolling down my cheeks, everyone abandons me.So this is how it feels like to be emotional? This is how it feels like to be a pest.Now i'll stop cursing rats and insects. Cause i completely know how they feel.Giving up is like a jump off a cliff. I give up and its like im jumping to my death.Whens that rope gonna pull me back again. I dont wanna screw my life up this young.Although i already have. Losing CA, Qiyin, and now him. How perfect can my life get.I dont ask for your 365 days. I ask for assurance. Im letting go. Not gonna ask anyone out for awhile.Gonna be bottling up again. Its the better choice, i believe. In two days, 10 breakdowns. I believe is enough.I dont wanna hurt, i dont care if life is a roller coaster, im getting off this roller coaster. Im facing the damn knife.My mum wont talk to me now cause she's mad at me for shit. And so is my dad, so that makes everyone.Perfect, Dawn. See what you have done, Dawn. Screw you, Dawn. I've had enough of you, Dawn.You screw yourself up. You deserve this. No one's gonna come to your rescue, so just go away, Dawn. Go.
@ 12:21 PM
I cant find the damn strength to stand up, im breaking apart.Staying at home the whole day isnt helping my emotional breakdown.From yesterday til today, breaking down nine times isnt helping me much either.You tell me then dont cry, and its supposed to be easy? Im a girl, my friend.I have emotions, and i have a heart. They all tell me to be strong. I cant keep on staying strong.I try, i do. But when i experience something like that, you dont expect me to stay strong, you just dont.One week, just one week. And we have become this. Tomorrows special, for me.But maybe it'll be a train wreck. You dont seem to care at all. I wonder if things will change from here.I wonder what you're thinking about what i said in the previous post, wonder if things will change.For the past few days, i've been living a nightmare. After speaking with Bernard and hearing what he had to say,After sitting at the back and looking at the people i sacrificed my life for, after hearing Daniel and what he told me.I feel like im stuck in a this whirlwind of crazy happenings. I dont know what to do right now.After reading Charlene & Melissa's blog, it hurts even much more. After you came back, it hurts even more.Its like everything anyone says right now pierces through my heart, my very alive heart.Things are screwing up before my very eyes. My life is coming to a halt infront of a threatening knife.And when im most vulnerable, you're. not. here. I dont wanna irritate you. I wanna give up.Its trying to know what i mean to you.
What i wouldnt give for you to be next to me right now.
I wish you understood how im feeling, how much i need someone here.
Wish you know how i do not want to break down.
But its killing me,
From the inside out.
P.S. I need you.
@ 7:52 AM
Unrequited love isnt meant to be.I dont know what to say, or what to do. As usual, im at a loss for words. And anyway,Words can barely express how im feeling. A week has gone by in the blink of an eye.Chaos has taken over my life. The turmoil of feelings i experience everyday. All i want is a listening ear, and a shoulder to cry on. Or should i say, your listening ear,Your shoulder to cry on. So much has changed between us since the very first day.I miss how you would love me despite my inhibitions. I miss how we were sweet. It seems like things are fading.I hate it when you dont reply me when i tell you how i feel. I hate it when i share my life with you and you dont seem to care.I hate it when things screw up around me and you're not there. I hate it when i cry and i know that you dont see.At times, you're cold and indifferent. So much so that i can predict what you're gonna reply. It hurts, big time.It hurts to know that im not what you are to me. You are my life. I am a part of your life. Thats a big difference.I said i tend to overlook flaws, but this is just simply hurting too much. I cant read your mind, my dear.I dont wanna be clingy and a pest, but i just wish i knew you more. You dont share anything with me.And yet, i open up so much to you. Its not easy, it really isnt. It takes me courage and sheer pain to open up.But because of how i treasure you, i choose to. I can say that i love you too much. Yes, i believe i can.Tell me if im saying anything unreasonable here, i will listen. And i will change. Im sorry she's everything im not.But im very very sure i love you more than she does. Love. My definition is making the person you love smile,No matter what pains it takes you, no matter how much it hurts you. You love someone, you make him/her smile. Yesterday, a friend shared with me a story of her sister's. Her sister's boyfriend is married, And yet he chooses to stay with her despite having a wife. And at home, his wife waits up for him every night,Cooks for him. Asks no questions when he arrives home at 5 in the morning and massages him before he sleeps.Does she love him to much? I think she does. But she just wants him to be happy, isnt it?So, are you happy? A question i've asked time and time again. If it has to be like that, then i'd rather not lose you.Like the wife; she'd rather keep him by her side than make a fuss about it and lose him all together.But somehow, there are many things i would like to be able to share with you. Not just the physical things.It feels like im going out with a stranger, i only know one side of you. And it ends there.Well, i dont know what to do anymore. Dawn will be Dawn, only knowing how to bottle it up.I tried, i really really tried. But as cliche as it goes, it takes two hands to clap.I dare say,
Im easy to love.
Just love me tender and share your life with me.
Am i that hard to love?Y
Take a good look at my face,
You'll see my smile looks out of place.
Yeah, look a little bit closer and its easy to trace,
The tracks of my tears.
I need you, need you.
Outside im masquerading,
Inside my hope is fading,
Just a clown since you put me down,
My smile is my make up,
I wear since my break up with you.
-The tracks of my tears, Smokey Robinson.
Thursday, March 26, 2009 @ 8:34 PM
Memories, all alone in the moonlight.Hey world. Im feeling so melancholic right now. Everything is just starting to hurt hurt hurt. Its very annoying.
Moving on, i just watched I Am Legend, yes i know im a noob! Pfft. Its so freaky, can! Yuck, shouldnt have. ):
But it's quite a interesting story with a ridiculous storyline. Almost cried, but i couldnt, my dad called me crazy.
Well, i think the saddest part was when he had to kill his dog. And also when he decided to give up his life.
That part was very touching, and he's kinda handsome! :/ Im scared now. ): Of zombies! AHHHH, like L4D.
And im watching Dont Forget The Lyrics now! Its a little bit lame. :o Never watched before, YES IM NOOB.
So anyway, school today was cool! Diana Koh called me defensive, i really think i am! Alot of people have said.
She said, 'Suwanie, your hair..' Then i went, 'What i do?!' Then she said, 'I was just about to praise you!'
And yadda yadda. Haha, thats funny okay. But her tone was very you-are-so-screwed and so was her face.
Maybe thats just her natural look&tone. :x Sherlyn agreed with me okay! Haha, the guy on DFTL is singing.
Compared to American Idol? Chickenvoice dude. Pfft, haha. America's got talent! :D Whatever whatever!
Jieyun said she prefers Japanese, asking why does everyone love caucasians, they're just so hot! :/
Sherlyn wants to see the northern lights like me! Northern lights/Aurora. (: Aurora, haha. Miss you guys. ):
I shall not rant about that now! Shush, Dawn, shush. Lemme think more about what happened today..
OH YEA, got to see Sueanne, been long. :D Haha, okay.. Anything else? Doubt it.
Tomorrow am going to watch Shopaholic with JonathanKhoh,Lester,Xunman,Jieyun,Emyi,Younice, etc.
Hope it works well and will be super duper fun! SHOPAHOLIC! Hm, okay, nothing much left to say.
Oh yes, this is for all Hope people. Whenever i talk to you guys, outside, not just on Saturdays,
I feel like theres this bond between us. Something different about the way i talk to you guys, am with you guys.
I dont know if its like that for you, but its like theres this special bond. Like as i was talking to Bernard today,
I saw him at J8, and ran after him like some crazy fan. Which i am not. But yea, theres this bond.
Hm. Hope the bond stays. ): Bye people. Rock on!
Absence makes the heart grow fonder?Y
Wednesday, March 25, 2009 @ 9:33 PM
This is what happens when you talk to great friends and just chillax. And what happens when you learn how to..How to upload MSN conversations into BLOGGGERRRR. Im happy now. I think.Superman is my new love.
@ 7:24 PM
Everything i lived for.Im done, i am. Looking at all these old pictures make me plain nostalgic and deeply hurt. Char,dearest, i read your blog. I know completely what you're getting at. I know its not worth it, but im choosing to stay with God, not leaving God. This is the first im publicly declaring this, so i should just go on. Im leaving not because you people exclude me, not just because i feel unwanted, constantly being forgotten and all that other stuff i said yesterday. They were true and part of the reasons why im leaving, but theres so much more to why im leaving. I remember the promises i made, the words i said. I know im letting you people down, and i know some people are going the extra mile. Cant you see how hurt and upset i am? Cant you see how broken i am? Cut me some slack, please. I want and need a complete, whole break. I know if im not doing well spiritually, i should stay on and re-fan my passion, and build up on everything again. But this is what i have to say. I Am Fine Spiritually. Im Still As Close To God As Ever. Im Keeping My Spiritual Maturity.Note this, when i come back someday, i'll be even more spiritually mature then i am now. Bring th test on.Im not shitting about this, really am not. I may be not as 'holy' as i was, but i know who my God is,I know how real He is, i know whats right whats wrong, whats God's timing, what's in His Word. I. Know.My sheep are the only thing that have kept me going when im super super down, now, the CG under me is as well.But tell me, people, have i lost all these? Yes, i have. Maybe not my sheep but i can keep my sheep close like friends.But the CG that kept me going, gone. I made that happen to me, so blame me. Yes, okay. Whatever!Im just very extremely elated that KCP has hit their goals and is finally completed. That makes me content enough.And right now, im gonna leave. I've had enough, I AM DONE. I miss those people who cared for me,Those people who cared for me enough to catch me when i fell, to hear my heartfelt thoughts, allowed me to open up.I miss those talks outside Meridien with Brandon, at Oasis with Brandon, at X29 with Daniel.It makes me wanna cry, wanna throw a fit, wanna rewind time. Brandon, i remember what you said.Forever, i will. Remember this? 'Dont give up, xiao jie.' You dont know how awful i feel by giving up.You're one person that has made a major impact on my life, that made me push myself so hard i cry myself to sleep.Losing you as my leader, losing the chance of having you lead me when i rise up in leadership, that hurt.But letting you down, going back on the words i say, that breaks me. So all i can say is, im sorry. Truly deeply.I hope you read this. If anyone wants to know why, bananasandcrazylittlenuts-@live.com.sg is where i'll be willing to explain.Im accountable for each and every of my actions. And im extremely sorry for everything. To my dearest MOS, i miss you guys so much. Seeing your pictures everywhere without me, my heart just breaks.Im no longer a part of you guys, so all i can say is that you guys gotta pull up your socks & lead well okay?People are depending on you. And to the most lovely Impact. The pacts we made, the meetings we had,I miss them so much. So so very much. Always be sure of your identity and keep those smiles yea.Okay, super long post. Yea, whatever it is.. I do hope that i'll keep those friends i love so much. ):So anyway, today had NAPFA, it was fine. And the DM rocks, 3e5 lets petition to change Diana Koh!Ah, whatever, today was a fine day. Tomorrow will be a better day. Yea, i hope it will.Bye people. You're gone til Saturday.What day is it? And in what month?This clock never seemed so aliveI can't keep up and I can't back downI've been losing so much timeWha
What day is it? And in what time?
This clock never seems so alive.
I cant keep out and i can back down.
I've been losing so much time.Y
Tuesday, March 24, 2009 @ 9:12 PM
IMPACT, Remember this? At all?
Hello. Im feeling super stressed and emotional right now. Dont feel like Dawn at all.
Maybe cause nothing Dawn-ish has been happening nowadays, sigh.
So anyway, shall be a baby later on. (: Today was a pretty fun day!
Class was quiet though.
I did my POA homework. :D And so on and so forth, and Jonathan was called a..
SUCKLING PIG. :D And Sherlyn, a laughing hippo. :B
Sherlyn got so totally punked during reccess.
We pulled off her rubber band, passed it around everywhere.
Threw it around, made her catch, made her jump.
Then, we took her phone, took out the phone, threw the pouch at her,
made her chase around the round table for it.
Then she forgot her wallet,
we passed it to Syahindah and in the end it was returned to her still. Haha, poor thing!
Well, after school, Jieyun skipped netball, AGAIN.
So did many others, haha. We went for lunch at Macs.
All those Sec1's should seriously shit themselves laaaaa, no respect at all.
And the way they stare, my gosh.
I will poke your eyeballs out, i tell you! Pfft.
Anyway, Joyce, Sara, Jieyun, Sherlyn & I headed to Cartel to study.
I ordered the Urban Bread Pudding and we had a good laugh at Cafe Cartel, like seriously. Sherlyn is mad. :/
And Joyce is crazy, Sara is psychotic and Jieyun is plain retarded. :x So yaaaa. Coordinate Geometry test tmr.
Should just throw myself into strong currents and go decompose, pfft. Anyway, today was a fun day, in some ways.
So on my way home, i was thinking.. How much i miss being in MOS, how much i miss the old Impact.
I doubt many of the people will read this but i hope many of you do, i really miss MOS and Impact.
I dont wanna go away, you know? But you people leave me with no choice. I feel so friggin excluded now,
I cant bear to go back. I havent officially left and you guys have stopped messaging about MOS meets,
Who knows i might think it through and choose to pull up my socks?
I havent even officially left and i stopped receiving notice about Impact meets, i havent even officially left and i stopped receiving texts about CAREGROUP.
For goodness sake, im still alive, i still know whats going on, im still here. Yet you guys treat it like im not here anymore.
So i should just go away and stop feeling so hurt, so unwanted. The treatment is extremely unjust and it hurts like crap.
You guys really screw me up sometimes you know. Really. Do.
I wanna keep most friends, shant name, but are you allowing me to hold on to our friendships? Are you?
Think about it, guys. Seriously reflect, have you gone the extra mile to come reach out to me again?
Have you already lost 99.999999999% of hope in my passion coming to flames again by God's Hand?
I think you have. Because i feel so unwanted and not needed right now that i wanna run away even more.
Read this passage well and clear. Get my message in your head. Im not being mean, objective whatever.
Im being truthful. Im so hurt now. I dont feel like a part of anywhere.
I thought i would still be able to feel like im part of MOS and of Impact, to always be a Christ Ambassador.
I feel lost and just simply completely non-existent. The treatment is so exclusive.
Not a part of anywhere. Losing all i have. Is this what its all going down to? I dont even have anyone to ramble to right now. Tell me God, is this what happens? Why aren't you saving me? Take me away, please.
I'll do whatever it takes, to turn this around.
I know what's at stake, i know that i've let you down.
And if you give me a chance, believe me i can change.
I'll keep us together, whatever it takes.
Will all of you just give me another chance?
I mean it when i say ALL OF YOU, not just CA.
Im swearing off singlish!
Monday, March 23, 2009 @ 6:55 PM
Oops, i forgot to update yesterday, or should i say i couldnt. Yea, i couldn't. Whatever, it was a good time studying with Isaac! I finished up my essay and my POA.My essay in which i couldn't decide on which, the original or the 'improved', to hand in. And did i mention that im quite, quite happy with it. (: Or not anymore, i WAS. Til' today. So anyway, school has once again started. Alot of people had the Monday Blues today. Haha.The morning was sooooo quiet in class it felt so dead! :/ Anyhow, im so glad i did most of my homework.Well, yesterday i was watching this show called Dr.90210 and its about people getting plastic surgery, one thing.PLASTIC SURGERY IS GROSS, DISGUSTING AND PURELY LAME. The surgery is like.. omgsoyuck.I watched about nosejob, and they had to freaking break her nose and you should seriously watch la! Its. ERR.I also watched about the most common thing women in Beverly Hills get besides nosejob which i wont mention. (:Plastic surgery is alteration of your rightful body and it makes you suffer, and fake.. And just plastic laaaa! ):I dont know laaaaaaa, plastic surgery is just.. omgsofrigginyuckthatiwouldnevertryitinamillionyears, ERRRRRR!Okay moving on, hahaha, im gonna rant about my personal stuff right now so, parental advisory, explicit content.Hm, i was reminiscing. about the long ago. And i just think about the many things that i've been through..Sometimes i think its just too much for a teenager, haha. I feel like im not fifteen at all! Besides the fact that im..Sec3. -.- But yea, i kinda miss my friends.. Those old friends that i used to hang out with so often. Those that..I used to text all the time, used to chat with on the phone. And they extremely crazy list of nicknames, haha.And sometimes, when i catch up a little with some friends, or read their blogs.. I really smile to know that well,That they're doing well. Some have gone on to serve wholeheartedly, others finding meaning to life, doing well.Really makes me think how we all have changed and grown. I really do wonder what will it be like when im 21.Seems so far away, yet i know soon i'll be 21 and look back and say man, time really flies fast. Right now, im losing friends that i never want to lose, giving up on things that i never thought i would let go of.Sigh, i kinda miss the old days. I feel like i didnt do alot of things that i should've done, wanted to do, could have done.Ah, kinda hurts all over again right now. So many people i lost in the midst of trying to hold on to them.. Okay, thinking too much now. Oh, if you dont know i think different, am different, you do not know me. (:Haha, yadda yaddas. Shall end here for today, my constant rattling is probably bringing you to tears, of boredom.Bye people. :DI turn my head to the east, i dont see nobody by my side.
I turn my head to the west, still nobody in sight.
So i turn my head to the north, swallow the pill that they call pride.
That old me's dead and gone but the new me's gonna be alright 'cause,
I've been travelling on this road too long,
Just tryin' to find my way back home,
But the old me's dead and gone.
Will you take me in your arms and swear to love me like i love you?Y
Sunday, March 22, 2009 @ 11:07 AM
Cause i would die for you, on Skyway Avenue. ♥Watched Mall Cop yesterday, ITS DAMN GOOD. Haha, seriously.I rate it 4.9 stars. ;D Nothings perfect right? (: Its quite quite funny. :DAnd Paul Blart is hot, cute and a ball. What a perfect description, :BAnd before anything, i kinda need to apologize to Melissa&Joshua. :/I truly think i lost the you-know-what and im seriously super upset about it.It ♥ wasnt there, i seriously would've died. Damn, someone help me find it! ):I feel extremely super duper dumb for having lose that, like seriously. Where'd it go! ): AHHH. Whatever, i shouldnt be thinking about this now.I have tons of homework to complete because i decided holidays should beFREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. HAHA. Back to update later! Meeting Kau to studdddyyyyy. :D
Friday, March 20, 2009 @ 7:31 PM
Newly discovered lovely band! Every Avenue! :D They're good, really good. Makes me want so many albums right now! I truly need some Yusof, urgh! Good news is,Mom says if i bake stuff for her friend to sell, she's paying me! I get paid for passion! :BSo anyway, im feeling so not me right now, actually, for the past three days.Or maybe its just the real me. :o Thats interesting, i should really do some soul-searching.So many things have happened inside me and around me for the past few months,I really think i've lost myself in this whirlwind of life, dammit, back to my turmoil craze again.Kinda makes me think of what i've been doing for the past few years, the friends, the life..I've changed so much, yet so little since my life began, which was 3 years ago, thats how I define it.The people around me have also been constantly in shift mode, just coming in and going out as and when they please.Its pretty horrible having to see it happen over and over again, haha, just try being me for a day, feel what i feel.Im being super self-obsessed now but i dont really care, i want to be self-obsessed right now! Pfft.And Adha says that what he hates most is my low self-confidence, haha.. Do i really think so little of myself?Or maybe its just everyone's just that much more awesome then me! I choose the latter. (: I mean seriously,Everytime i read others blogs, observe others, get to know others more, it seems theres something about them thats so much better then myself. Even those i cant look at, those that make me cry, those that hurt me, yaddayadda.Maybe i should move away to a faraway place and start all over again since the people here wont give me a fresh start.Yea, i wanna do that.. Yea, like a magic carpet would come swooshing through my window and take me away.You wish, Dawn, you wish. Also, i should learn to stop pushing the blame to others and at times myself.Damn, lifes getting so much harder. I've really learnt how to give up recently, is that good or bad?Well, for one of my latest choices, im sorry to all those i've hurt, i have no idea if you guys read my space though.But really, i am sorry, i know all you guys must've felt something, either joy or sorrow i dont really know about that.But whatever it is, to all those i love and who love me, im sorry a hundred times over and just to assure you,Im very sure of what i am doing. Convincing me wont be an easy feat, but i'll listen to whatever you have to say.I know i seem irresponsible, or maybe i am, and i know it seems like a dumb, unworthy thing to do.But as always, Dawn will be Dawn, or should i say Suwanie will be Suwanie, im different, always have been.If you dont know im different, how i think is different, how i feel is different, and my reactions are different,You dont know me.Haha, something suddenly blink-ed in my memory! Something Charlenedearest said in my christmas card,She said, sometimes when i see you smile, i see something sad and difficult happening behind that smile.Haha, truly truly that surprised me. But i hope from today, that smile will be genuine, aye girl? Haha.Theres so much i wanna do, so many things i want to say.. But todays not the day.. Although they say,Any time is the right time. But i say, my time is the right time to do my thing. Yes, God? (: Oh and lastly, i still believe in God, im holding on to my belief in Jesus, i still believe God's Word.And my love for God is enough, dont question me about that, thank you very much. No offence, though.Yea, thats all this humanbeing has to say for today, i hope. Im boring you with my chants right? Poo, okay bye!Where were you when I needed you most?
Why did you leave me alone?
We gave up before we gave it a chance,
And I don’t understand.
Back to where we left off, baby.
“How you been and what’s been new with you lately?”
Just forget it, it’s the same old runaround.
You build me up just to let me down.Y
Thursday, March 19, 2009 @ 10:17 PM
I GIVE UP.Its called perpetual brokeness.
@ 9:36 PM
This is for you.I know what im doing wrong, i know i have attitude problems at times but dont you?Sometimes, not everything is my fault. Now you've got your friends so i mean nothing to you.Or maybe i never did. Doesnt this seem like a total replay of primary school?I bet you gossiped about me, bet you hated me way long ago, bet you disliked me more then once.But you still listened to me, comforted me when i was upset, and still chose to be my friend.Now, just because i couldnt go out and pangseh-ed you twice cause i couldnt find my keys,Just because i cant return you the money in time and seem like i use it for other reasons,You decide to break your friendship with me? Or maybe it was the last straw for us.I know whatever i say now wont mean anything to you, you never listen anyway.I just hope this isnt the end, you're probably cursing and swearing at me now, but do it, just do it.Im speechless and have nothing left to say, just hope you remember the good times.There were, dont deny that. If this is the end, then it is. Im completely out of words this time.Last but not least, im sorry, i know it doesnt mean anything to you.Seems like everybody's breaking up
Throwing their love away.
Even you're not here this time round,
How awesome can i get.
DAWN, YOU FOOKING SUCK.
@ 3:47 PM
HELL-OH BUNNEHS! :D I was just watching American Idol, Season8 OFCOURSE.And am SOOOOO afraid Adam cant make it! NOOOO ADAAAAAAM! D;He's seriously hot and he's just damn good, ): But anyway! Haha, i wanna meet him. ):I wonder what if Singapore Idol's went to join American Idol, i think they'll get kicked out!HAHAHAHA, im being so mean. D: What to do, Singapore is a lame, lame place. OOPS, just might get sued. :xAND AND, mama asked me to go work today and she's paying me 3obucks, hahaha! Didnt go in the end, tired. Sunday maybe, since she says Sunday is 4obucks. :o Kinda need Yusof Bin Ishak's pictures now, haha.Plus! Tomorrow am meeting MrKau, AuntieOng and KorkorKwek laaa! Gonna spend so much Yusof. ):Oh! And im falling in love with T.I, HAHA! Oh yea, yesterday went Bugis with Mister, went to this watch shop.We saw this watch, EXACT imitation of o.d.m, check this out, it says o.d.m. , notice the extra dot, so fake lah!It was seriously faux pas! It looked so pirated, like, design wise yes, but quality wise it was SOOOO ergh. HA.Mister wanted to get this super kiddish watch, the one where you just smack it on your wrist and it wraparounds.It had a cow on it, hahaha! But there wasnt any time, oh and we went HajiLane and saw this super sexy bag!But then we sorta found out it wasnt for sale, it wasnt bad lor! So sad. ): The bag was sexy laaaaa. Haha!And i saw a vintagebag and Mister said it looks auntie. ): Should get it for AuntieOng, dont kill me for that. :DSo, oh, yesterday was cool lah! We walked around Bugis, went Bras Basah;Bras Plaza, HA. Inside joke! ;DNo lah, me & ♥♥ were at JustAcia the other day and this guy one the phone behind us was like,'Now going off ready, going Bras Plaza. Yaaaa, Bras Plazaaaa!' And we went hysterical, he was kinda beng leh!So anyway, i saw this ULTRA HOT&SEXY GUITAR there, it was HOT PINK! OHMYMAMAAAAA! :OBut it was a bass guitar, something which i just might never learn to play, and there was this other adorable guitar which caught my eye as well, it was a electric polkadot guitar, so so cute! Too bad i cant play. ):If i could, i would buy it straight away, if i had Yusofs, haha. Maybe i should learn, HMMMMM. Good thought!So anyway, we then walked from Bras Basah, i momentarily forgot how to spell it, to DhobyGhaut.And i saw this extremely hot, sexy, beautiful, confident caucasian women! With her boyfriend, duh. HAHA.She was like, friggin tall, friggin good figure and blond hair wearing hotpink shorts, literally SHORTS,Heels, matching hotpink sweater and purple shades, omg she was so mind-blowing, i feel lesbian now, ERM! :/Okay moving on, we had dinner, saw Faith, went Cathay, found his bag, considered, reserved it, yadda yadda.Walked around Cathay, walked around Plaza Sing, went home. :D Shared the same liking for certain songs! HA.Recommend You and me - Lifehouse, its an awesome song, trust me! If not trust MrKau, or Charlene.Even ♥ says its nice! Haha, coolio right! OHYES! Im falling in love with Lifehouse. :D Mom's back from Thailand!And she bought this super nice smelling lotion! And perfume, branded Issey Miyake, a french brand, seems coolio!Whatever, shall update again later. :D Haha, i think. LATER PEOPLE! Adam Lambert is ♥! :D
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 @ 1:56 PM
Hello jell-ohs! :B What's up peanut butter-z! :D Haha, im so super tired right now. :/Tiredness truly drives people crazy and random, not that im not random enough already. :BWoke up at 0430 okay! Earlier then school days, :/ And couldnt go back to sleep.Was so afraid! Thank goodness ♥ was there, although asleep, hahahaha! :PHm, yesterday broke some news to some people and.. classic reactions of course. Just wanna tell you guys, if you know what i mean that im sorry for what im doing,But trust me okay? I know what im doing, and i'll be praying with you guys always.Okay, a little too deep for now, anyway, yesterday was fun! I stayed at home alllllll day. :DWatched my teevee, my sexy teevee :P, used my sexy golden vaio, goofed around when ♥ came over & teevee!OHHHH, im gonna be so lateeeeeeeeeeee, supposed to meet Mister later! At Bugis! AHHH LATE LATE,No not really actually, just freaking myself out, haha. Suddenly thought of something random, I♥Black lenses! :DAnd and and and, i sooooo want a iPod! And LG Prada! And i wanna eat pizza right now. ): Oh, do you pronounce it PIZ-ZA or PIT-ZA, and LASA-NIA, or LA-SAG-NA. Food for thought, literally, :DOops, time for me to get ready, BUGIIIISSSSSS, kiss my ass. ): Dont like Bugis, but whatever! :DBye people, i rock your socks, no wait, i rock the world! Remember that if you forget my name. HAHA.Btw, Shawty - Your best girl/guyfriend. :D So cool! Go Jamie Foxx! ♥ I♥ADAM LAMBERT.
Your eyes and those lashes,
They catch my heart and completely mesmerize me.
You leave me breathless every single time.
My haven is in your arms,Y
Tuesday, March 17, 2009 @ 8:18 PM
Its peanut butter jelly time, peanut butter jelly time, JELLY JELLY. :DHaha, its damn cute laaaaa, if you watched the clip. :DAnyway, i think Sherlyns damn sweet laaaaaaa, hahahahaha.Haha, thank you girl. :D Anyway, hahaha, met up with some friends yesterday.Jieyun, Isaac, Matthew and Joshua(Kwek), haha, Kwek korkor. -.-It was fun! And we watched Coming Soon and i was hiding half the movie. :BAnd im watching Popeye. OMG LAAA, haha. Anyhow, yesterday was good fun man!We should really do it again, it was so enjoyable catching up. :D Its nice to know that you'll always have friends to make your day, haha, whatever it is, horror movies suck. ):Meeting Isaac&Matthew and some other not confirmed yet this friday as well. :D Hope its gonna rock. :)Errrrrrr, nothing to blog about, besides the fact that i look like a panda now. ): HAHA.Okay, BYE JELLO-H's.You left your footprints on my heart.Y
Monday, March 16, 2009 @ 12:02 PM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ):Times when i need you the very most, you're not there.My tears hold whats left of us, what we could become.They say broken hearts can be mended,But love, it seems its shattering as the days pass.I miss how you loved me,Tell me, is this all?Just take me away, its the perfect thing to do right now.Who doesnt long for someone to hold,
Who knows how to love you without being told.
Monday, March 9, 2009 @ 9:45 PM
Im torn apart, losing control.Trying to hold on as tight as i can.Clenching my fists tight, on what i love.My pain, set free by tears and sobs.Its hurting so so much, and theres no one here right now.Just the thought of losing and the lost, I spin into a downward spiral of excruciating pain.Knowing how much you mean to me, you chose to do it this way.Failing myself by bottling it all up, like a helium balloon.But would i soar into the air or burst? It hurts to see it this way.
You, her, I, them.
I never wanted it to be this way.
I never want it to be this way.
But i dont have a say,
I dont have a stand.
All i have is you, her, them.
Not anymore..
Not anymore.
Sunday, March 8, 2009 @ 6:48 PM
Hell-oh monkeys, donkeys, wonkeys, lonkeys, pokeys, hokeys, ohkeys. :BHavent been touching this space for quite a few days, huh. But i still think people dont read this space anyway, so its an empty, cobwebby space.Anyway, yesterday was a great day, because of you, them, him, her, idontknowwhatimsaying.Okay, indeed yesterday was a great day. (: ♥ is the best. :DAnd the outside of Flyer is really really nice, it feels so not-singapore, but its like..Surrounded by construction sites. And there are manymany stars! So so cool, so so cool!'Improvise people, i havent changed my outfit in like, four hours!' Brenda Song, haha.So anyway, celebrated an advanced Sara's birthday on friday and it was quite fun, haha. We towned! Sorta. :/We were supposed to meet at 23o, but i left my house at 23o, haha. So they headed down to Heeren first.Met them at Jack's Place and they all ordered student meals, forsaking their cocktails and such! Haha.And i ordered my peach ice cream and shirleytemple mocktail. (: Pictures next time! :D I do not like Shirley Temple. ): Bloody Mary is nicer, haha. And i so wanna try Cosmopolitan, ANYHOO.When they finished their food and icecream, me&Jieyun faked that we had plans and left first.We went to get her a cupcake and get the E2 Chamber room ready for Ms.Birthday's arrival.We waited damn long, in darkness, for them lah! And the dumb automatic airfreshner scared us! Haha, noisy.So when they arrived, they pushed Sara into the room and we sang her a birthday song she made her wish. :DOh! And Joyce said i look 21, i so do not lah! 21 is so overrated. So anyway, we watched..10 Promises to my dog, it was a pretty sad story, and Joyce was sobbing like whoknowswhat, and we were laughing at her. :/ Too bad Brenda didnt cry, i would've loved to witness that! :DSo basically, thats about it.. It was a pretty fun day, i must say, :D The room was cosy. ;DRight now, im feeling so down. ): Man, i should learn to not have moodswings. And im missing so many people right now. ): I miss you! And you, and you.. you, and you! And you.. and you.Shut up, Dawn. I love you,
Just three simple words.
I used to think they were so overrated.
But now i know.Y
Wednesday, March 4, 2009 @ 8:31 PM
Its this balancing act that we all do every single day of our lives.Its this, keeping our lives in perfect balance, the way we want it to be.Its a crazy fetish everyone does, conciously or subconciously.People balance their work, their emotions, their time, their expressions even.Their feelings are balanced out, hidden and shown in bits and bursts at times.What is this crazy act of pretence for, are we not all just human beings?We all feel, we all suffer, we all experience, be it joy, exuberant moments or those times where the worlds seems black.Ironic, isnt it? Some people walk with their heads held high, but inside they're rotten, hurt, corrupted.Others walk with their head downcast, and people think.. She's sad, she's feeling insecure. He's disappointed.But inside, they could be having the most beautiful time of their lives. In my intepretation anyway. :DThey could be having a conversation in their heads, or reliving their sweetest memories and just reminiscing.Sometimes, people should see beyond whats outside. Not just judge by the way things seem to be.I think, hard, and all my life, i have not known more then two people who truly understand and see me inside out.People just do not see what is beyond that smile, whats in those eyes, whats in those hidden meaning.Whats between those lines.All people focus on is image, is impression; which is no doubt important but irrelevant at this moment, and yadda yadda.Sometimes, i think why did my parents marriage fail.. And i think its ego, i think its failure to communicate&compromise.I do believe that my mother still longs for time to turn back to those days of courtship, but for my father im not so sure.Hm, come to think of it im so thankful for my Dad, he's been awesome to me all my life.. despite fits at times.Ehhhhh, yadda yadda wordy wordy post, very very wordy.. Hm, so whatever it is, this post is relevant to me! :D And i LIKE IT. (:So anyway, i so want GossipGirl's first and second season! Ah! Why am i not wealthy, filthy rich. ): I wish! Ha.So many things i wanna do! Like what ♥ said.. LOL. Reverse Bungee Jumping, Flyer, Ice-skating, blading..And the list will go on, like shopping; every girls need, and er, Haji Lane, and er whatever laaaaaaa! :D No more!Eh, i just thought of something. ♥♥; Dont be afraid to say what you think, dont be afraid to initiate conversation.It was tough to see you that upset this morning, my dear. Everyone has a reason for doing things, just clear up the air. (:I'll always be here for you! Cross my heart and swear to die. :B Love you!Alrights, so.. ONE LAST THING! IM GONNA MURDER THAT IDIOT WHO WENT TO REPORT MY EZLINK I was trying to go through my happy morning routine today so i went through it AND,At the MRT station when i tapped my card, the red light came on and it said invalid card! SO, i made my way to the Passenger Service where the idiotman who was rude, not helpful and irritating told meThat.. my card was reported lost, thus blacklisted and not eligible for use and asked me to go to the damnTicket Office so i had to PAY EXTRA for not doing ANYTHING at all for my transport. AS IF SINGAPORE ISNT EXPENSIVE ENOUGH YOU TOOTHEADS! ANNOYINGIRRITATING! ):I was really really pissed, with the probableIDIOT who reported MY card lost and i had to waste moolah.And with the AWFULANNOYINGIRRITATINGRETARDEDRIDICULOUS SERVICE! Spoiled my morning. I swear right, if i ever find out who's the LOSER who reported my card lost right!I'll send him to Timbaktu in a box with ONE hole and WORMS inside in a SHIP then i'll SHIP him back,Take him out of the box, put him at Victoria Concert Hall in a NEON YELLOW LIME TUTU and make him do the HOCKEY POKEY! AND THE MACARINA! Then, i'll put him on a cold metal table and cut him into tiny pieces and turn him into SHEESHKEBAB then i'll send him to the cannibals in the Bermuda Triangle!Sheeshkebab, GRR! Okay, sorry for the explicit content but im REALLY pissed at that person or whatever.Ha. :D So whatever! Im going away away away away away away, enough Dawn enough. BYE. :BYou always chose to stay.
I should be thankful for everyday.
Heaven knows what the future holds.
Or at least where the story goes.
But i never believed until now.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009 @ 8:52 PM
Hello world. :D Today was a funny, happy day! KwokFeng locked MrsLoy out! (:And she said she didnt wanna teach our class, DONT LOR, we dont want you either. (:Eh, had lunch with Joyce, Sherlyn, Jieyun, Binhui, Brenda and Sara, who has a cute brother.Hahaha! :D And i think everyones cramming for POA but me. ): Haha!Oh im so so happy! I saw a rainbow yesterday! For the first time! With ♥! So pretty.And and and todays Inequalities test, the only question i did out of the three, i got it correct! :D ♥And i ALMOST passed my Biology test on Diffusion and Osmosis. (: 12/25, half a mark. (: And for F&N,I got 24/35 and i didnt study. :D Not that i didnt study is a good thing but it just means im so clever, carbon brains. (:Today is such a happy day and i really got to think alot while being alone, being alone is fun. :D Its nice, and chill.I really dont know what else to type but that Someone up there and someone right here is taking good care of me.I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. ♥Please stay sweet, my dear.
Sunday, March 1, 2009 @ 9:28 PM
I'm just a little bit caught in the middleLife is a maze and
Love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
I can't do it alone, i've tried.
and I don't know why
I am just a little girl
lost in the moment
I'm so scared but don't show it
I can't figure it out
it's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it go
And just enjoy the show
This shall be my trademark picture whenever im feeling _____.
Well, i just studied today, can you imagine it? I STUDIED.
And i understood, inequalities, you dont know how happy i am, suckers.
I really hope i can do my test tomorrow, i really worked hard, i did.
I know im easily distracted and love to draw and doodle, but its my way of destressing.
Believe me, guys, i did do my best today as you were coaching me.
I really appreciate the effort, i really do, i do hope my results tomorrow will make you proud.
I swear, i did my best today, i swear.
Well, whatever it is, i really hope that tomorrow will be a better day.
Im feeling so melancholic right now, im loving so much right now it hurts. ):
